Friday, November 1, 2013

How To Be An Assertive Communicator

How To Be An Assertive Communicator

By Zoe Smith


It is impossible to live in this world and not be in contact with another person. As such, it is of vital importance that we develop good communication skills to be able to express ourselves clearly and in doing so, establish better relationships with the people around us. What is assertive communication and how can we use this to our best advantage?

There are a few styles of communication that people knowingly or unknowingly use. Passive and Aggressive communication styles are born out of low self esteem. Passive communicators avoid self expression at any cost; and aggressive ones go overboard in defending their rights and opinions by being almost abusive. Some individuals belong to the passive-aggressive category, which is by subtly undercutting people because they themselves feel powerless, jealous and angry.

It goes without saying that these are not very good communication styles. In fact, if you think this is you, you need to seriously check yourself and purpose to change before you lose people's respect or drive them away. Nobody is perfect and unless you can walk on water and are born of a virgin-expect to make mistakes. Learn from it and move on from here.

It goes without saying that the most effective communicator is the assertive communicator. Assertive people are people that have a healthy self-image, therefore they are able to advocate their rights and opinions without having to undermine another person to do so. They are open, direct and respectful to people they are with.

Being assertive benefits your professional life greatly. Being forthright, confident and honest are key proponents to effective decision making techniques. As opposed to passive decision makers who do not command respect; or aggressive personalities who are combative and oftentimes seen as too rude-assertive people solicit trust and inspire people to cooperate towards a single goal.

Assertive communication will also help you have better relationships in your personal life as well. Many times we do not want to hurt a loved one's feelings and in doing so, become detrimental to their growth as individuals. Being able to tell them in a respectful and loving manner things that can be improved upon will make for a better bond and a stronger relationship.

So how can we improve in this particular quality? The first thing you need to do is to have a deeper understanding and appreciation of yourself. If you have a healthy self-image or self esteem, you will not shy away from asserting your rights; nor will you feel the need to strongly defend yourself because you feel vulnerable and attacked. Place a high and healthy value on your own person by taking time to develop yourself spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically.

Of course even if we do our best in expressing our best intentions for people-sometimes they will misunderstand. Don't be surprised-miscommunication cannot be avoided. When it does happen, don't let it affect you too much. Live the way you know to do and be happy with yourself no matter what. Enjoy a great life and have no regrets!




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